Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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