The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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