Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize