Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize