im about as happy as oj after his trial
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
