Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
