Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
