just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize