I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
