I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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