remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
