Your face is a jimmy john
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
