I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
