I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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