3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
