Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
