I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
