My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize