just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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