Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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