wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
