Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
