nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
