Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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