Your tits are I can't wait for
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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