I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize