My balls are so social today.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Randomize
