So drunk, too bad you don't want this
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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