His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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