just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
