In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
