I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
