i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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