Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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