Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
