just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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