She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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