Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
