weddingsv make me drug and hornr
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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