I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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