I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
