do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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