I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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