Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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