I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
