We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
