i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
