We should be called the Road Head Warriors
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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