Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
