and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
