We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize