May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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