oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I love you. Go after that dick
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Idk if I want to put a bra on
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
