dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
