break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
