when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
