I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
