Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
