Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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