Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
